


Hold Me Until The Sun Comes Up (and the stars fade away)

by gubbins



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Episode: s01e13 Jedi Crash, Episode: s01e14 Defenders of the Peace, F/M, I Made Myself Cry, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I Wrote This While Listening to Ed Sheeran's Music, Order 66, The Author Regrets Everything, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, What Have I Done, i blame tumblr for getting me attached to this ship, i should have removed my mascara, it's fluffy for a bit and then i made it sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26353024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gubbins/pseuds/gubbins
Summary: Four times Aayla kissed Bly, and one time Bly kissed Aayla.
Relationships: CC-5052 | Bly/Aayla Secura
Comments: 15
Kudos: 64





	Hold Me Until The Sun Comes Up (and the stars fade away)

**Author's Note:**

> I should be working on the next chapter of my WIP, but the plot bunny grabbed me and wouldn't let go. 
> 
> I'm apologizing in advance for this one. 
> 
> hope you enjoy, sorry i'm so evil, but blyla is just perfect angst fuel (a beautiful tragedy, those two).

The first time Aayla kissed Bly was on Maridun. One of the nights they spent there, before they infiltrated the Separatist base. The night after seeing what the droids’ new toy could really do. 

Aayla had pulled Bly aside, concern in her typically-guarded eyes. For all that Aayla was companionable, she wasn’t one to open up easily. At least, not to her men. But that night, something was different. 

_“You’re alright?” She asked._

_“Yes, I’m fine- General, is everything okay?”_

_“You almost- Bly, what if-”_

_Understanding what she was saying, Bly finished, “What if you hadn’t gotten to me in time?”_

_She nodded gravely. “That weapon- it destroys every living thing, Bly,” she paused, running her hand down his cheek. They had discussed these… feelings, before, this unspoken thing between them; but they had agreed that a war was no place to explore such things. “It would have destroyed you too.”_

_“But it didn’t. You saved me, Gen- Aayla,” he corrected, remembering her request to be called by her name in private. “You saved me. I’m alright.”_

_“Bly, what if next time-”_

_“There won’t be a next time, I promise.” It was a selfish promise, they both knew it, but it was one Bly made anyway. He couldn’t guarantee he would be able to honor it, but he would fight tooth and nail to try. He loved her too much to cause her pain. “And if there is, you’ll be there to keep me safe. As always.”_

_Aayla gave him a wavering smile. “And you’ll save me.”_

_“Of course I will.”_

_“We make a good team, don’t we?”_

_“Yeah, we really do,” Bly whispered, knowing he should push her away. The way she was looking at him, touching him, it was everything they agreed not to pursue._

_But he couldn’t do it. The soldier in him was chanting all the things that could go wrong, yelling at him to walk away, just walk away-_

_But his heart kept him there, in the arms of a beautiful Twi’lek, on a secluded planet in the far reaches of the galaxy. “Aayla, we- we said we wouldn’t do this.” Why did he have to say that? He just promised he’d save her, vowed to himself he wouldn’t hurt her, but he’d already gone and done otherwise. He could see it in the way her shoulders deflated, just so._

_“I know,” She murmured, soft fingers tracing his tattoos. “But please, can I do this? Just once?” Before he could reply, she slowly pushed herself up and pressed her lips to his._

_The kiss was over quickly, but the remnants of it were seared onto Bly’s skin._

That was the first time, when they said there wouldn’t be more. 

~ 

The second time was on their Star Destroyer, about three months later. 

That was when their past agreement unraveled, giving way to something more. 

_“We said we wouldn’t do this.”_

_“Must you always remind me?” Bly said, almost irritated. He loved this woman, practically worshipped the ground she walked on, and though he had as much say in their current relationship status as she, it was… bothersome to think about, for lack of a better word. He couldn’t let himself get too upset over it- feelings fade in time._

_Don’t they? Shouldn’t this, this unspoken thing, have waned by now? Why did it not leave him, why did it insist on burning in him? Why did he still blush when she smiled at him, his heart race when she neared, get annoyed when a shiny looked at her the way he did?_

_It should have gone away. It should’ve._

_But it hadn’t. Instead, it grew stronger._

_“Bly…” Aayla started._

_“Yes, yes, I know- we’re fighting a war, we could die any day, you’re a Jedi…” He trailed off, the anger he had been feeling slightly dampening. He couldn’t blame Aayla for their situation._

_“It’s not that I’m a Jedi. Love is not what is forbidden. It’s just… fighting a war, something I’m not meant to do- I fear I am more prone to attachment now. I can’t let it consume me. There’s a reason attachment is not allowed for Jedi, for the fallout of such things can be disastrous. It is selfish.”_

_“I know,” he sighed, remembering how she’d explained it before. “But Aayla, we said that whatever this is would eventually go away. For me, it hasn’t. It’s just gotten worse.”_

_“Worse?” She said in a lighthearted tone. “Is it really so bad to love me?” Her attempt to lighten the mood worked just a tiny bit, but it didn’t really make Bly feel any better._

_“You know what I mean.”_

_Aayla looked down. “Yes, I do. Very much,” she said in a hushed tone. “So what do we do?”_

_“I don’t- I don’t know.” He walked across the small training room, rubbing his head frustratedly._

_“Maybe there is a way to love deeply without getting attached, even in war,” She uttered, sounding like she was saying it more to herself. “The Force might show me how.”_

_Bly turned back to Aayla. “What are you saying?”_

_She lifted her head, and the look in her eyes was enough to take his breath away. “I love you.”_

_“I love you too, but Aayla-”_

_“Shut up and let me kiss you, Commander.” She ran towards him and launched herself into his arms, which were waiting for her._

~ 

The third time she kissed him was in private, while on Coruscant. 

They were finally on leave, three months after the beginning of their relationship. They had been in his (thankfully private) quarters, the night they first arrived. 

_“You seem upset.”_

_“I’m not upset,” Bly muttered. Aayla got up from the bed and wrapped her arms around his chest. She attempted to make eye contact with him, chuckling and rolling her eyes as he repeatedly avoided her gaze._

_“Bly, I can literally feel emotions,” She joked. “What’s wrong?”_

_“It’s nothing,” He tried again, but quickly relented. “Just- it’s stupid.”_

_“Your feelings are not stupid, Bly. Irrational, maybe-” Aayla giggled at his exasperated expression. But upset as he was, her laughter always warmed his heart. “Sorry, fine, I’ll stop- but in all seriousness, what’s the matter?”_

_It took her a few pokes in the shoulder, a soft hit in the chest and finally resorting to holding his head in place with her hands to keep it from moving, but she finally got him to answer._

_“I didn’t like how they looked at you.”_

_“Who?”_

_“Those men, at the bar. The ones from the other battalion. They look at you how I look at you, and I wish I could-”_

_“Bly, look at me,” Aayla gave him a kind half-smile. “Those men might think I am pretty, but they don’t look at me the way you do. You look at me like I’m beautiful, like I am beyond comparison, because you love me- and it makes me so incredibly happy. You make me happy, happier than I’ve ever been. Nobody else could ever come close to making me feel the way I feel when I’m with you.”_

_Bly had no words to respond with._

_So when she kissed him, he kissed her back with all his love, all the words he couldn’t find._

~

The fourth time she kissed him was on Chandrila. A small squad of the 327th was stationed there to protect Senator Mon Mothma from a dangerous assassin that had been threatening her. 

Aayla and Bly had left the senator’s apartment for the night, and though they should have returned to where the squad was staying, they found they had just enough time to sneak away for a bit. 

_Bly laid atop of one of the many mountains just outside Hanna City, Aayla held close in his arms._

_“How long do you think we have?” Bly asked, fingers running up and down her arm._ _  
_

_“I’d say maybe twenty minutes, give or take,” She said quietly. Neither wanted to speak too loud, not wanting to mar the gentle night by being too noisy._

_“This planet is beautiful,” Bly commented._

_“Yes, it is. I forgot how much I loved it here- I haven’t been since years before the war started. I wish we had more peaceful missions like this one.”_

_“Me too; ironic, huh, considering I was made for war,” he quipped, but it came out sounding bitter. Bly mentally kicked himself for saying it, sure he had ruined this moment._

_Aayla sat up and leaned over him, a tender but fierce fire in her eyes. “Listen to me. You may have been intended for war, but you are so much more than that. You are loyal, you are brave, kind, and smart. You make me laugh when I think I can’t, you give me hope when there is none; I love you, Bly, and I always will.”_

_She always said things with a note of finality, had a way of speaking that you couldn’t help but believe anything that came out of her mouth._

_“You’re amazing, you know that?” He said, placing his hand on her cheek._

_Leaning into the touch, Aayla placed a quick peck on his forehead before laying down again. She cuddled closer to him, pointing out constellations and telling stories of her previous visits to Hanna City. They stayed there, him holding her tight, and he wished he could always do this, wished they could stay here on this hilltop until the stars faded away._

_“Aayla, I love you,” Bly whispered into the night. Though he had said it countless times before, this was different; it was final, a conviction._

_She faced him again, kissing him softly but surely. “And I love you.”_

_It was a vow full of promises, a tether that bound these two souls together, no matter where they might end up._

_Wherever they landed, wherever the galaxy pulled them towards, they would always come back to each other._

~

Then there was the time he kissed her.

They were on Felucia, a place that, no matter how many colorful plants called it home, always appeared to be drained of life in his nightmares. 

How horrible, that the last time he saw the love of his life would become his worst nightmare. 

_“Bly, do you think it’s droids?”_

_“No.”_

_CC-5052 fired his weapon, despite Bly screaming not to. The countless barrage of bright blue pierced her skin, shoved her to the ground and kept her there._

_Despite what you might have heard or seen, Aayla Secura’s death was not a silent one. Above the sound of blaster shots, you could hear her normally-composed voice screaming and begging for her love to stop._

_Her shouts wormed their way past the chip’s defenses, reached into Bly’s mind, and he_ **_fought._ ** _He scratched and tore at the chip, the cage it placed him in. He needed to get to her, he needed to stop this, save her, stop this, please_ **_STOP_** _-_

_Finally, when it was over, CC-5052 lowered his weapon and Bly escaped. Ripping off his helmet, he threw himself on the ground and pulled Aayla towards him. He checked for a pulse (he refused to admit what he already knew- he would not find a beating heart). He could not stop thinking of how she had just been so warm, when he had hugged her just minutes ago in private-_

_She was so warm, so beautiful; but now her electric blue skin was charred and gray and oh so burnt. He couldn’t have done this, he couldn’t have, he would never._

_“Aayla-” Her name was the only word he could get out, the war for dominance in his mind taking a toll. He didn’t have much time._

_“I’m sorry-” Bly hastily pressed his lips to hers, an apology, a vow, a plea for forgiveness. His tears coated her face, giving him the illusion that they were her own, that she was still alive, for she could not be dead, she couldn’t- He couldn’t bear it._

_Hadn’t they promised to save each other?_

_He felt broken. So shattered, so torn, just like her skin that was blemished with the blaster wounds he’d given her-_

_Then all feeling was gone._

_CC-5052 got up, turning away from the dead traitor’s body._

_He had reports to make, troopers to check over. The traitor was not important. He had completed his mission, so it was now time to move on. Time to await new instructions. After all,_

_Good_ _soldiers follow orders._

**Author's Note:**

> *hides behind chair* i'm sorry, i'm sorry, but i had to do it. when it comes to angst, i gotta go full throttle and break some hearts. i just gotta.
> 
> tumblr is @ayo-cowbelly if you wanna scream at me about this, star wars, or other fandoms


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